The War

The War
The War is an event mentioned multiple times throughout the Kozyverse. It is what the lore is mainly based around.

This will be an in-depth look at all references and events that occurred within The War, in canonical order.

The Old War
The Creation is when Crab Jak Joe and Nachonius appeared out of nowhere. Crab Jak Joe invented Ufberkria, as well as infinite universes along side it, and Nachonius sat and watched. He was outcasted and grew vengeful. In Ufberkria, Crab Jak Joe made the Mookaels, and the Three Fathers to watch over them. Crab Jak Joe then went to sleep.

Nachonius murdered all the Mookaels, except for one, causing Vladimir, one of the three fathers, to summon Crab Jak Joe from his slumber. Nachonius sent Lai Topez, the first pigman, to destroy the Crab God, but he failed in the first Battle for the Pond, above Will's Crabby House, the first place of worship for the crab god.

The Cybernetic Enforcer, Wilhelm, was sent by Nachonius next. Crab Jak Joe sent 2 assassins, Matt and Cornflake, to assassinate him, but they failed. Wilhelm destroyed Will's Crabby House and killed the three fathers.

This is supposedly where it all ended. The Events of Pupaf played out in the ashes of what remained after The Old War.

Pupaf
In the secluded Kingdom of Pupafria, built in the ashes of Nam, the Pupafrian people were created as a final race from Crab Jak Joe. Created in his image, they were glorious crab men. The Gooms and Drakirians were created by Nachonius to try and combat them.

Through the natural line of succession, Pupaf, son of Pudad, came to the throne. He popped out of the ground!!!! It was cool. Pupaf had two sons, Gram the Sweet Prince, and Blood the Goom. Pupaf neglected Blood, and sent him away to a group of Nachonius Cultists. Pupaf and Gram opened Pupaf Industries and made a drink called EPI><.

Blood the Goom contracted the Parasitical Bitch, aka Alexander Cobbletom, a heathen from Nachonius's army. Blood went mad from the parasite in his rectum, and went to destroy his father and his brother and take the throne of Pupafria.

He befriended the Nachonius people of the Drakirians, and killed Pupaf. Gram was sent by Crab Jak Joe to retrieve Blood's rectum, which held the parasite, to revive Pupaf. He did just that, but in doing so, brought war to Drakiria. Just what Nachonius wanted.

Pupaf, now revived, had the parasite due to the revival. Induced by the parasite's rage, he massacred the Drakirian people. Gram, with his morale code, took down his father and beheaded him, the process, getting the parasite.

Gram then went mad, and went northward, to the kingdom of Amel'Hia. Blood tracked him down, and took down his brother, now a reformed man. Peacefully, he established the Kingdom of Goombania, and had many Goom children.

Mr Business and Plussign, two Knights of Nachonius, infiltrated the Goom's dinner party, years after the peace started, and murdered the entire family. All but one. The Lone Goom, the last son of Blood, and last heir to the Ruins of Pupafria.

Mr Business started mass producing businesses in the forlorn land of Pupafria, and industrialized it. However, he began to run out of businesses to sell. Hatefully, Nachonius told Mr Business to hunt the Last Goom, to end the Pupafrian Line, and to humiliate Crab Jak Joe.

However, Alexander Cobbletom, the Parasitical Bitch of Old, turned his ways around. After years of thought, he was reformed. Nachonius was evil, he determined. No place for him in this world.... He opened a new civil rights movement, The Yellow Bag, the last lifeline of Pupaf Industries. He also sold satchels of yellow hue.

The Last Goom killed Alexander Cobbletom for what he did to his family, regardless of his redemption, and drank the last can of EPI><. He then assassinated Mr Business before the grand attack, and used Alexander Cobbletom's worm body to revive Pupaf from the dead.

Pupaf then killed The Last Goom, disgusted that his family line of pure Pupafrian was reduced to a race of Nachonius, and overtook Pupafria once more, to forever be ruled by the crab people and Lobster Shells.

To this day, they mutter, 'I want to see the dirt *cough*, Pupaf!!!!'

The Second Age
Nachonius, defeated by Alexander Cobbletom and Blood's redemptions, slept in shame.

Crab Jak Joe, in an act of shame, of letting the universes he so desperately tried to make perfect fall to shambles, created a new realm. Out of the ruin of Amel'Hia, left behind by Gram the Sweet Prince, Crab Jak Joe birthed Honkolia. A land of Goblins and Dragons, ruled by a very unsightly person.

The Last of the Three Fathers.

Revived from the dead with the rectum worm's corpse....

Vladimir, or now, Quack E.

He was hateful, spiteful, even. A communist alcoholic who ruled over Honkolia with a solid fist, joined along side him was his trust companion Oreboy64. They executed those in the street, and enforced taxation of oxygen. Honkolia was a grey snowy kingdom of misfortune. Nachonius, behind the scenes however, was crafting a Kingdom of his own....

The Kingdom of Night.

13 Beetle-Headed Princes watched over the land of permanent night, smiling their infinite smile, watching as the stars danced above them, and the night extended to eternity. Pigmen roamed the Black Beaches of Nachonius, killing Crabs and eating them.

Nachonius learned his power, then. He is able to wish anything he desires, so long as it takes away from another. And so, as he built his Pigman Army, he kidnapped Oreboy64's Brother. Lord Washroom, a regal governor of a small town in Honkolia.

He made 45 clones of him, and killed 44 of them. The 45th, he commanded to be sent to Honkolia, to destroy it, and only then could he see his 44 brothers again. Washroom 45, aka Ay'Pik Miskabs, followed through, and with a solid fist, invaded the Communist Goblin Kingdom of Honkolia.

The First Attack
Quack E and Oreboy64 didn't know what to do. They sent their first artillery, The Mudrakers, to fight the Pigmen, but they were all cast aside. Nachonius cursed them all to be children forever, and continued his attack. Quack E and Oreboy64 ran away, leaving the kingdom in ruin.

They tried to pray to Crab Jak Joe as the night snow fell upon the quiet land, post battle.... But he did not answer.

Quack E and Oreboy64, Vladimir and Reede, continued wandering the land, hateful and resentful of what had happened. Depressed, even.... When they came across a wounded man. Mud Raker, was his name. He had fled the battle before he was cursed, and thus was not a child. He was ashamed, and begged to get another chance at glory. Vladimir and Reede left him and continued, hoping he'd die....

As they wandered into the snowy forests of Honkolia, the sound of the cosmic invasion of pigs all around them, they ran into a man. Washroom 45 stared at them and they stared back. "Eat the pig," He told them, in a hushed tone. "Eat the pig, and it'll all be over." He ran off before they could speak to him.

Honkolia laid in ruin, Nachonius had won.

Vladimir and Reede, broken and angry from the attack, came across a small town on the Honkolian North coast. Silverdick. Many people were laughing around a single person, and out of curiousity, they looked. A man was snapping his fingers and laughing, outside of a pub, trying to keep the soured moods of the broken uplifted. "Who are you?" Vladimir asked.

"Sammy!" He answered.

"Come with us." Reede said.

"Okay!" Sammy snapped his fingers and they all laughed.

The First Legion
In the ruins of Honkolia, an army was formed to defeat the Pigmen of the Night. Vladimir, Reede, and Sammy joined, but they saw nothing of it. Washroom 45, too, joined. Perhaps he was reformed.... But actually, he was just infiltrating for Nachonius.

Washroom 45, Vladimir, Reede, and Sammy became fast friends in the bunkers. At night, they would hear the Mudraker's canons and childish cries, but Sammy would tell jokes to drown out the battle. Their laughter was all they could ask for. Washroom 45 began to lose sight of his mission, and even if he was just a spy, he began to love his new friends. Pick his old friends, or his new ones, he had to chose....

Saltdick was destroyed within the first month of the attacks by Nachonius.

The First Pigman Legion took everything from the land, and destroyed the world. Pupafria, Honkolia, everything.

Crab Jak Joe, with the last of his power, created Honoka, the embodiment of Honkolia's hope.

Sammy, Vladimir, Reede, and Washroom 45, after fleeing from a battle, were walking in the woods, wounded and tired. "I see a shooting star," Sammy told them, "But make no wish. For the friendship I have is all I could ever wish for." He snapped his fingers, and they all laughed. Washroom 45 agreed. Vladimir remembered then who he was before his death. The Third Father. He confronted them and told them.

"I hate to break it to you but.... Not only am I the Goblin Prince of Honkolia, who let it get destroyed, but I am also the Third Father of Nam." They accepted him anyways. Oreboy64, wartorn and angry, shed his skin and befriended the dragons of the night, as they were torn away and killed by Nachonius, one by one....

They were the best of friends.

Vladimir met Honoka in the woods one of those nights, with the rest of them, and they fell in love. In the snowy ruins of Honkolia, on Christmas night, accompanied only by his war friends, they were married.

Vladimir and Reede were no longer sad and hateful. They were Kozy and DragonFruit. Pink and Blue. Goblin and Dragon. And they were ready to take back the universes from Nachonius's pigman legion.

The Second Legion
However, after a year of battles, Nachonius sent a second legion of Pigmen.

They killed Sammy.

Kozy, DragonFruit, Honoka, and Washroom 45 cried for months, for they no longer got to laugh at his joke jokes or finger snaps....

Kozy and DragonFruit swore vengeance on the Pigmen Legion, and Washroom 45 spoke to them; 'To End it, Eat The Pig.'

They listened.

Nachonius lead an attack on an alternate universe, where Kozy disguised himself as Honoka to spite Nachonius and married a girl named Yui in the Pearlian Union. Washroom 45 told him what to do. He knew what to do. He had to eat the pig, once and for all. This was his only chance.

With the help of DragonFruit, he defeated the last of the dragons for no reason, and sent them to DragonFruit's dungeon.

He was ready to invade The Pig Factory, now.

The Final Battle
DragonFruit and Washroom45 rebuilt Honkolia, as Kozy invaded the Pig Factory disguised as Honoka. Statues in Sammy's honor were put up and this and that.... It was pretty. The Mudrakers, let by Mud Raker, a middle aged alcoholic who escaped the curse at the price of his honor, guarded day and night. He wished to redeem himself, as did the rest of the Mud Raker's. Keith the Synth also vowed to protect Honkolia, for he said 'BROOOO, SYNTHS!'

The combined efforts of the Two Legions of Nachonius broke through the sky and poured out through the cosmos. He was going to win, to invade this universe and wish Crab Jak Joe never existed. Leaving Honoka all for him. Leaving the universe all for him.

In the Pig Factory, Kozy confronted him, finally. "Why dude," He asked him, his voice sounding like Keith's to distract him from who it really was. "Yes!" Nachonius responded.

Kozy killed him, and a dead pig appeared at the corpse's feat. "Eat it." Washroom 45 told him.

In Honkolia, DragonFruit looked for Washroom 45 but he was nowhere to be found. He feared they lost another friend. The Mud Rakers sang their song, Diggy Diggy Hole Nightcore, and pushed back the Pigman Invasion. The Goblin Kingdom was being bombed and massacred, but Mud Raker commanded valiantly. Once a coward, now a brave man. He lead the attack, with tanks and planes, and together they pushed back the Pigmen army, only to lose his life in the process.

At the Pig Factory, Kozy ate the pig, and Washroom 45 chuckled. "You fell for my trap...." He told him. "You bastard!" Washroom 45 had tears in his eyes. He had chosen wrong. The universe began to cease to exist, and Crab Jak Joe went with it. "I'm sorry," Washroom 45 tried to sob, but it was already too late. For he, too, ceased to exist.

The End
DragonFruit found Kozy, wounded in the snowy ruin of Honkolia 2.1. He awoke him and the two sat side by side in the rubble, looking at the giant pink and white towers, smoking and ruined in the night. "You bastard," The wind said. "You are receiving this message after my betrayal, through a time machine but.... I hope you recieve it." It was from Washroom 45. "I wish I didn't have to do it, but I wanted to see my 44 brothers again. Hopefully now I am with them, and I can make amends with you for what I've done. Sammy, Honkolia, Crab Jak Joe. All of it. I am sorry." But, the message from the past was incorrect. For Washroom 45 was tricked by Nachonius all along, too. He was dead, with his 44 other brothers, so in a way, he did get to see them again.

DragonFruit and Kozy were together now, the last remaining people in the universe. DragonFruit recomended bringing Sammy back with the rectum worm, but Kozy denied. The two sat shivering in the cold night, and stared at the stars. A shooting star went by, but they made no wish, for the friendship they had in the past was all they could ever ask for.

And in the end, all they had, was the memories of what was.